I wrote this during high school and added the quotes during the first month of college. I touched up the writing before putting it on the site but it's still a little more overdramatic than anything I would write today (my life wasn't that bad). But eh, here ya go.

I held the knife above my right cheek, trying to cut it out, but of course I couldn't. Not because I didn't want to, but because of the instinctive fear that all living things have of extreme pain. I couldn't move my hand.

I put the knife down, stood up, and jumped around a bit to calm my nerves. Then I pointed the knife back towards my deformity.

It would have been easier to do if the deformity didn't make the location of the knife obvious. The deformity caused me to be aware of the location of things in the distance. Things I couldn't touch, or even hear. Nobody had ever found the cause of this disease, and no doctor was willing to cure it. They said that was a gift, rather than a disease, and it would violate their oath as a doctor to remove it. I had heard that some people outside the Valley had two. Having never been outside the Valley I wasn't sure if this was true.

If I had wanted to remove my hand, I could have simply pretended that I was just moving my empty hand towards my wrist, but with this deformity that wasn't possible since that strange fifth sense was telling me exactly what my hand, and therefore the knife, were doing. This didn't happen at night, or when I was inside, but otherwise that sense never left me. I would have been doing this inside but I didn't want anybody to hear my screaming. After thirty seconds or so of uselessly trying to cut out my disease, I put the knife in my pocket.

I walked across the meadow, sensing the mountains at the edges of the Valley that I lived in. That was one of the things I was going to miss about whatever that thing was that was in my forehead. It was nice being aware of those mountains way out there, not necessarily because I needed to know that they were there, but it was pleasant in a way to sense them. I used to turn my deformity towards the edge of the Valley for hours, just sensing the beauty of those mountains, where the tree line ended and the snow line started. That was part of the problem. I got far less work done than healthy people because my disease was such a distraction.

When I was younger, I didn't notice my deformity so much. It was irritating how sensitive it was to the touch, and some kids would poke it to bug me. But then as I got older, it became a problem. Every individual has the right to be free, to behave how they want, so long as it brings no harm to others. I took that right away from them. Most of the time, because they weren't aware of my presence, people would behave normally while I walked by, completely unaware that I knew their every motion. But when they got to know me a bit better, when they learned of my disease, their behavior changed. When talking to me, their motions were more reserved. They made fewer expressions, and made no expressions that could be interpreted as offensive. There were some advantages to having a fifth sense, but it caused far more pain.

A few days back I had tried to tape the thing shut, hoping that it would solve the problem, but it didn't work. The tape would stick onto the hair that was on the edge of the skin with more strength than it would stick to the skin itself. It was agonizing to remove the tape so I could replace it with new tape, and when I had gotten the tape off the first time I decided not to put any more back on. After that incident, I had considered perhaps just living with it, but of course I couldn't.

After about five minutes I arrived at a stone wall, behind a twisted tree growing out of the rock's face. I jumped a foot or so into the air, and grabbed one of the branches with both hands. I moved along the branches, towards the nearly horizontal trunk, and I lifted my body up and sat on the tree. I stood up in a crouch, and balancing carefully, climbed along its length to where it merged with the cliff a meter or so above the ground. This was one of the few times where my extra sense came in handy. Very few people could climb as well as I did, because they had no way other than touch to be aware of the location of the rest of the tree. Just above where the trunk met the stone, there was a deep hole in the rock. A deep cave just tall enough to stand it, that went several meters into the face of the rock. It was a place of safety, where my deformity could sense nothing. I crawled deep into that cave, deep enough that I could sense absolutely nothing from my disease.

I sat down, and grabbed the knife back out of my pocket, and pointed it at that ball in my face. I pretended that that knife wasn't there, and that I was just moving my fist towards my face. My arm was able to move, and I thrust the blade above my right cheek into the deformity. Then I dropped the knife, and used my fingers to pull it out of my face.

I understand why you want to, a lot of people want to, but I don't understand why you need to. Is there anybody who is putting this pressure on you?

I think at this point it's an obsession, I never really went to one of those schools myself and obviously I'm doing exactly what I want to be doing. What do you want to be doing?

These things sometimes happen. I'm sure he did it by accident and a liquid diet for a week isn't so bad. It will heal in time.

After a time, the pain subsided to the point where I could move. I flailed and thrashed on the floor, holding my breath until my body forced me to inhale, then screaming out the inhalation. I vomited until my stomach was empty, then vomited up air. I tried to stand, hit my head on the roof of the cave, then lay back down. For an hour or so, I stayed flat on my back, screaming out my agony. Then I fell asleep.

I'm not sure where you got this intense hard-nosed mentality. I don't think it is from your parents, is it your grandparents?

Sure this will open up a lot of doors for you, but it also closes a lot of doors for you. You could be making so many more friends and finding ways to be happy right now.

As far as I can tell, last years class was hell. You could definitely do the more complex math but it wouldn't be fair to everybody else.

If we end up seeing the video they took of it, and his dick is out, that's a whole different deal. But I don't think this is such a big issue and people wake up when they are touched so he was probably on top of you for all of like five seconds.

When I woke up, the pain was still there. It was more pain than I had ever felt up until that day, but it was manageable for the most part. I crawled out to where I thought the hole opened up to the outside, but hit a wall. I began to chuckle through my tears. The cave had always been a place that only I could get to, because of my disease. Now that I was cured I was going to have trouble leaving.

I crawled around for a bit, until my hands hit the air and I nearly fell out of the cave. I backed up, turned around, and dangled my legs out until they felt the truck of the tree that I had used to climb up. I slowly lowered myself down, waiting until I was firmly balanced on the trunk. Then I grabbed the tree with my hands, and on all fours, slowly turned around so I was facing away from the rock. Slowly, still crying softly from the pain, I inched forward on the trunk until my hands hit branches, indicating that I was towards the tip of the tree, near the ground. I slid over the edge of the trunk, dangling by my arms, then let go and braced myself for impact.

I didn't actually fall that far, so I was able to land on my feet and stay standing. I used the direction of the tree to orient myself, and set off towards where I thought my home was. I was going to have to get used to navigating without my sense. It was going to be difficult, but I'd figure it out soon enough. I wiped the goop from my deformity on my pants, and wiped the blood off my face with my sleeve. Hopefully I'd be able to get my hands on some painkillers soon, so I could sleep tonight. I'd also need disinfectants, and probably stitches to cover up what was essentially an open wound in my head. But I wasn't too worried about that. Now that I had done the hard part myself, doctors could take care of the rest. And this time, the doctors wouldn't have to censor their movements, knowing that I was aware of everything they were doing. For the first time in my life, I was a true citizen of the Valley.